I feel so depressed about so very much.

          First of all, sometimes I wish I never had been kissed. I hate knowing how it feels to miss being kissed. I hate missing the feeling. I hate how my first kiss went. I truly hate it. I really have never told anyone that I hated it, but I really did. I will never be able to offer that "first kiss" moment to my future love. I let myself down. I gave into temptation.  I know this might sound silly to those out there that don't see kissing as sacred as I do. I am not a physical person and to show my love I share my deepest affection when I am physical. I am sorry to my future husband.

          Secondly, I miss my friends so much. I live in the middle of nothing and I just want to go to the beach or hang out with my friends. I miss my best friend so much.

          Last, TIME AND MONEY sucks!

I do not have the words to express much more, but believe me there is a lot more going on in my mind and heart.

Why is it that my best friend's family is more of a family to me than my own?

I cry when I hear that they pray for me daily and are always asking about me.

I wish my family did the same.
So much for a ministry family. We are more screwed up then you all know.

I really love the Dobbins family.

I hate myself for caring so much.
It really is a horrible trait.
Why do I care so much?

I just feel like I've been in such a funk lately.

I just seem so distanced from everyone.

My parents are mad at me for something I really don't understand and know. My brother is always on their side, sometimes even selling me out.

What am I doing that is so wrong? I wish someone would tell me. I'm so tired of living my life worrying about if I am doing something that will not please everyone around me.

I miss my best friends. All of our talks, knowing everything, laughing together.

I just don't even know anymore. I can't even find the words in me to speak, I haven't really laughed and been myself really in a while...

I wish there was a word for how I am feeling.

I need a good cry.
End of rant.

Rant.

Sometimes I just feel like I cant go anywhere to get away. Like I cant do anything without people questioning. The answer is, I do not know! I think I really do but I am not sure. I cant decipher the differences. Ughhh!! I hate this. Only time will tell. For now, this is the only place I can truly speak to without trouble and questions.

I wanted this but not like this. sdkamsodsdmolsad.
Why not sooner. Why are you so inconvenient?

Goodbye.

Jamaica!

Friday November 5th I spoke in Missions Chapel at my school and I cannot express the feeling I had when I was on stage speaking to my peers.

Being in Gods Will, at that very moment in life when you KNOW that you are supposed to be doing exactly this at this exact time, is so humbling.

To think that God would use me!?! I daily have to remind myself that God does not call the qualified but qualifies the called. 

I am so happy! 21 people signed up after chapel interested in hearing more about the trip this summer to Jamaica. 21 PEOPLE!!!! PRAISE GOD! 

SOUTHEASTERN STUDENTS WILL BE MAKING AN IMPACT IN THE COUNTRY OF JAMAICA IN 180 DAYS!!!

Tonight is my informational meeting! I know for God is in me and nothing can stand against me! I am more excited than nervous!

Keep Jamaica in your prayers.

Keep my team in your prayers.

Keep me in your prayers.

Thank you

<3

This is my first mobile blog!!! :)

Friends.

It is very interesting to see who your true friends are.

I can honestly say that I hate having to learn that lesson. Doesn't everyone though?
I put my whole heart into friendships and when the other person decides to not be my friend anymore it breaks my heart each and every time.
I should get that checked out....
When someone out there finds a cure/antidote to keep the liars and backstabber's away, let me know.
Thank you.

I really need to learn to guard my heart more. It's sad that people take advantage of others this way.....
I guess I reap what I sow?

I'm not enjoying this lesson very much...no one ever does. I must also be learning not to rely on others but on God. Thats another lesson all in itself.

Thank you to all of my TRUE friends out there. I appreciate you more than you know.

Vent done.